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Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. Colossians 3:12-13

Intro: Before fire engines, cities relied on the “bucket brigade”

Volunteers would rush to the scene of a fire and form a human chain
– beginning at a source of water–a well, river, or pond if close by–,
• draw water, and hand the bucket to the first person in the chain
◦ then the bucket would be passed from person to person until poured on the fire
◦ empty buckets would be returned down the chain, filled and passed again
• imagine, that the buckets stopped moving and no empties were returned
◦ someone runs down line to find the problem – and comes to two men just standing there
“I’m not passing the bucket to him. He’s a cheat!”
“I’m not taking a bucket from him. He’s a fraud!”
– in the meantime, the schoolhouse burns down
• if you’re in brigade, no matter what, don’t break the chain!

You and I have covered a lot of ground in the last three or four years
– some of the subjects we’ve looked at include:
• re-wiring brain’s owner’s manual to aid in transformation
• a brief survey of Leviticus to prepare for close study of Hebrews
• what the Bible has to say about the spiritual significance of the body
• what it means to read the Bible as a sacred text
• and we went through 1 Corinthians as a Primer In Things Unseen
– in all of this, we’ve been seeking a greater experience of God
• our journey aims at a clearer and more constant awareness of his presence
◦ as Paul said, our goal is to know Jesus
• but there is an important truth we cannot ignore
◦ we need each other in order to reach our goal
◦ a fully formed life in the Spirit cannot be developed in solitude

Paul continues to expand his virtue list, but with a slight shift

He provides images of how the virtues look in everyday situations
– for instance, last week we went over the virtue of patience
• how does that affect the way I interact with others?
• well, in some instances, I listen closely when I don’t want to
◦ my listening is not motivated by my need to hear the other person,
◦ but by the other person’s need to be heard
– what Paul says in verse 14 turns out to be invaluable
• it is natural to experience tension with others in community
◦ “community” can be home, work, a team, church, etc.
• Paul provides two ways to resolve the most common tensions

We tense up around certain people for a number of reasons
– we have a history with this person
• conflict: we had a run-in with this person in the past
• abuse: it did not have to be verbal or physical
◦ this person used me, took advantage of me, mistreated me
• wasted time: you felt cornered and subjected to boring chatter
• weirdness: left you confused or frightened
◦ you realize it would be impossible to please this person
– there is another type of tension unrelated to any specific issue
• “personality conflict” – we don’t need to look for a reason
◦ “There’s just something about that guy that rubs me the wrong way”
• it’s their look, their voice, mannerisms, general style
◦ there may be unconscious reasons
– for whatever reason, you cannot tolerate that person or communicate with them

The first way to resolve the tension is by bearing with one another

There is a general concern we need to share for each other
– the Christian family looks after the welfare of each member
• this is a basic element of decent human behavior
You shall not see your brother’s ox or his sheep going astray and ignore them. You shall take them back to your brother. And if he does not live near you and you do not know who he is, you shall bring it home to your house, and it shall stay with you until your brother seeks it. Then you shall restore it to him. . . . You shall not see your brother’s donkey or his ox fallen down by the way and ignore them. You shall help him to lift them up again (De. 22:1-4)

Paul doesn’t say you have to be “best buds” with everyone
– you do have to put up with us,
• after all, we have to put up with you too
• at any rate, let’s narrow this down to a feasible size
◦ we don’t have to put up with everyone in the whole world
(it’s okay to “unfriend” abusers and creeps–it’s the safe and smart thing to do)
◦ the circumference of this circle is our spiritual community
– I don’t know how to communicate this effectively
• I just know that even though some people are a little weird,
◦ it’s worth my time to love, accept, and care for them
◦ I sometimes discover a loveable, lonely human being
• it’s up to me to set limits and boundaries, and if I do that up front, there’s no need to apologize when our time is up
◦ I’ve found that anyone can surprise you and everyone’s story is interesting–if you’re willing to listen
Richard Lukas, “There is nothing glib here. Paul well knew the almost unbridgeable gulfs that exist between human beings. . . . But Paul is convinced of the power of Christ, not to bring people together while remaining just what they were before, but to change them so that a genuine meeting of mind and heart is achieved.” “In short, this kind of Christian unity is the result of genuine spiritual revolutions in individual lives, where the old nature with all its prejudices and hatreds is put off, and the new nature is put on.”

The second way to resolve tension is by forgiving each other

Paul prefaces this with, if anyone has a complaint against another
– do I need to say that this does not apply to serious violations?
• the majority of Paul’s first letter to Corinthians,
◦ was his response to complaints from church members
• what he addresses here are the normal irritations and gripes we have with someone
– I appreciate the honesty reflected in this statement
• there is no pretending that we are a fellowship of angels
◦ anyone could have good reason to complain about someone else
• Paul says, that’s as far as it needs to go
◦ forgiveness is a way to make the problem go away
◦ forgiveness is a release – a letting go
◦ the quicker we forgive, the sooner we enjoy peace and freedom
◦ hang onto an issue and it becomes a seed that grows into an obsession

Forgiveness is more complicated than bearing with one another
– it involves a personal interaction – an offense or trespass
• I use trespass intentionally, because Jesus taught us to pray
forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us. Then he added, For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your father forgive your trespasses (Mt. 6:12, 14-15)
◦ I know Christians who squirm at this
◦ the refuse to believe God’s forgiveness is conditional
• however, there is one condition–and only one
◦ it is not if you prove you’re really, really sorry then you will be forgiven
◦ or walk for a mile on your knees in gravel,
◦ or punish yourself mentally with toxic shame and guilt; never forgiving yourself
– God made our forgiveness conditional,
• so we would have all the reason and motivation we need to forgive

Sometimes forgiveness is impossible
– we cannot even make ourselves want to forgive
• or make ourselves willing to let God make us want to forgive
– but at every point, God is ready to help us
• we have to ask – and he is faithful to work on our hearts,
◦ to walk us step-by-step to perfect forgiveness
• perhaps that’s why Paul uses the model of Jesus’ forgiveness
◦ he knows how difficult it can be to forgive those who crucify us

Conclusion: These virtues are not given us to do on our own

It’s not like we have to use whatever will power we have
– the virtues are not like learning good manners or rules of etiquette
• if that, they would be no more than a supplement to Law
– we have to be aware of, and open to the supernatural energy behind them,
for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure (Php. 2:13)
God will help us discern whether we need to bear with, or to forgive, or to set boundaries
But overall, our destiny is to build bridges, not barriers

Don’t break the chain!

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Put on then, as God’s chosen people, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience . . . . Colossians 3:12

Intro: The — word — I’ll — talk — about — today is —-

patience

I remember reading through Colossians many years ago
– in the first chapter, I came across a “power verse”
• what I mean, is a verse that makes a prayer for, or a promise of spiritual energy
◦ for instance, this is what Jesus did for his disciples:
[Jesus] called the twelve together and gave them power and authority over all demons and to cure diseases (Lk. 9:1)
Or, . . . you will receive power when the Holy Spirit has come upon you, and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the end of the earth (Acts 1:8)
• Paul told the Colossians he was praying for them
that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, so as to walk in a manner worthy of him . . . being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might . . .
◦ at this point I got excited and imagined myself working miracles;
exorcising demons, healing the sick, raising the dead
◦ but reading on, this is what I found
being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy (Col. 1:9-11)
– my immediate thought was, “What a rip-off!”
• I did not want to be empowered for patience

The typical place to begin a talk like this is with the word itself

It is a Greek compound, consisting of two words:
– one means distance (in space or time) and the other means passion (intense emotion, e.g., rage)
• the King James Version provides the literal sense with long-suffering
◦ the patient person must “suffer” discomfort, resisting the impulse to act out, and so on
• patience is the opposite of someone who has a “short fuse”
◦ God’s self-description in Exodus says, he is “slow to anger” (Ex. 34:6)
◦ in fact, we learn this virtue from God’s example–and the example of Jesus
But I received mercy for this reason, that in me, as the foremost [sinner], Jesus Christ might display his perfect patience as an example to those who were to believe in him for eternal life (1 Tim. 1:16)
– slow to anger is an important insight into the how of patience works
• it has to do with timing
soldiers who joined King David’s army are described as men who had understanding of the times, to know what Israel ought to do (1 Chr. 12:32)
Elijah asked his servant Gahazi, Was [this] a time to accept money and garments . . . ? (2 Ki. 5:26)
◦ this rhetorical question assumes the answer is “No”
• do I understand the nature of the times?
◦ do I know what is the appropriate action for this moment?
◦ patience is accepting each moment for what it is and for
what can and cannot be expected from it or what can and cannot be done in it
For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted . . . (Ecc. 3:1-8)

There’s a common misconception we need to correct

All my life I’ve heard variations of this advice:
“Don’t pray for patience, because God will send you more trials for you to practice it.”
– this is not faith and it is not even biblical
• it is superstition – like throwing salt over your shoulder
• another problem with this advice
◦ Nancy pointed it out to me this past week when she asked, “What kind of God do they think he is?”
◦ listen to Jesus teach us what kind God the Father is
Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? . . . If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him? (Mt. 7:9-11)
– we can ask God to help us with each of the virtues,
• especially the ones that give us the most trouble

I don’t think you and I need to be reminded of the saying, “Patience Is A Virtue”

In previous generations, this was used as a motivation
– I don’t know if many people are motivated by virtue today
• anyway, being patient with “things” we can’t control is a virtue
◦ traffic, waiting for water to warm up in the shower, elevators, etc.
◦ tp not be jittery with things telling them, “C’mon, c’mon, c’mon”
• patience with things is good,
◦ but patience with people is absolutely necessary
William Barclay [regarding the Greek word makrothumia says], “This is the spirit which never loses its patience with its fellow-men. Their foolishness and their unteachability never drive it to cynicism or despair; their insults and their ill-treatment never drive it to bitterness or wrath.”
Jon Kabat-Zinn, “Scratch the surface of impatience and what you will find lying beneath it, subtly or not so subtly, is anger. It is the strong energy of not wanting things to be the way they are and blaming someone or something. This doesn’t mean you can’t hurry when you have to. It is possible even to hurry patiently, mindfully, moving fast because you have chosen to.”
– we have to be patient with people, because we’re all imperfect
• in Matthew 18, Jesus tells a story about two debtors
◦ one is forgiven, but refuses to forgive debt of the other
◦ the story is not only about forgiveness, but also patience
Both men, in turn, begged, “Have patience with me, and I will pay you.”
• why is a person who visits a doctor called a “patient”
◦ because healing requires patience

Patience works relational magic

In the famous “love chapter” of 1 Corinthians,
– this is the first word regarding what love is
Love is patient and kind (1 Cor. 13:4)
• think of that! The first thing love must be is patient
◦ patience is the key to preserving and protecting relationships
◦ patience is how we build and repair relationships
• do you remember what Jesus said was greatest commandment?
You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments depend all the Law and the Prophets (Mt. 22:37-40)
And Paul, Owe no one anything, except to love each other, for the one who loves another has fulfilled the law. For the commandments, “You shall not commit adultery, You shall not murder, You shall not covet,” and any other commandment, are summed up in this word: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” Love does no wrong to a neighbor; therefore love is the fulfilling of the law (Ro. 13:8-10)
◦ St. Augustine applied this insight to the virtues
Augustine, “I hold virtue to be nothing else than perfect love of God.” “Therefore, where charity is full and perfect there will be no remains of vice.”
◦ commenting on this, John Langan wrote,
Langan, “Augustine then understands the moral life of the Christian as the progressive development of charity, which is the one explanatory entity that underlies the activity of all the virtues.”
Notice how this ties all the virtues together in love–as here in Colossians 3:14
And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.
– if we think of all the virtues as separate items,
• then we might be tempted to focus on one at a time
• but love is a complex mixture of various qualities
◦ like a bowl of fruit
. . . the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control (Gal. 5:22-23)
– if I think I’m loving well in one virtue, tend to cheat on others
• we hear, “Everyone has a vice” or “Chocolate is my one vice”
◦ but if all virtues are manifestations of love, we can’t skimp
◦ we can’t dismiss the one that seem most difficult or unpleasant

Patience is a path to peace

There are two psalms that express poet’s stress, and both end with:
Wait for the LORD;
be strong, and let your heart take courage;
wait for the LORD (Pss. 27:14; 31:24)
– Psalm 40 begins,
I waited patiently for the LORD;
he inclined his ear to me and heard my cry.
• we are frequently encouraged to wait for God
The LORD is good to those who wait for him (Lam. 3:25)
Even the youths shall faint and be weary,
the young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles
they shall run and not be weary,
they shall walk and not faint (Isa. 40:30-31)
• patience protects us from making matters worse
◦ the angry texts we write, but don’t send; the sarcastic rants we don’t post
◦ who knows how much unhappiness and stress we have dodged by keeping our reactions to ourselves?
– if we do not learn patience, the world will drive us mad
• the sun will not rise until it rises, or go down until it goes down
◦ all of our impatience will not hurry its daily journey through the sky
• patience is not resignation, it is not giving up
◦ nor is it doing nothing, but patience is doing what can be done now
◦ patience cannot be forced, but it can be cultivated

Conclusion: The cool thing about patience,

Is that every single day will give us opportunity to practice it
Our bodies will tell us when it’s time to be patient
(Our bodies will tell others when we need to dial down)

When it is time to exercise patience,
let’s remind ourselves, “This is an opportunity to love someone”
An opportunity to love God, love my neighbor, or even love myself

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Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness . . . . Colossians 3:12

Intro: The first detail to notice, is where we find meekness on list

Meekness is hiding behind humility
– we wonder, was it even necessary to include meekness in addition to humility?
• if we were to be honest, we don’t take meekness seriously
◦ it is a virtue no one wants – like patience or submission
• we read that Jesus said, “Blessed are the meek”
◦ but it doesn’t leave a strong impression on us
◦ it is not as compelling as poor in spirit or mourn
– meek doesn’t draw attention to itself – doesn’t make headlines
• no one asks meek for the next dance
• we want to be the opposite of meek
◦ we’re convinced that “You don’t get anywhere if you let people walk all over you”

Our negative impression of meek is not far from the Old Testament idea

Hebrew, anav: to see oneself in a inferior position or condition
– it was the status of the poor, or servants, or the “afflicted” (physically, mentally, or socially)
• we need to remember, Israel’s pride never failed to produce disaster
◦ what we read regarding King Uzziah is a recurring theme:
But when he was strong, he grew proud, to his destruction (2 Chr. 26:16)
◦ humbling itself was Israel’s was path to restoration
But I will leave in your midst
a people humble and lowly.
They shall seek refuge in the name of the LORD (Zeph. 3:12)
• at the same time, God had a special concern for the poor and oppressed
◦ the weak and helpless, such as widows, orphans, and foreigners
– in the Psalms, God grants the poor and lowly special favor
• so the psalmists confess their desperate and depressed situations
◦ they find comfort in poverty and affliction — they knew one day they would be rewarded,
◦ and so learned to live in humble dependence on God
• accepting their lowly circumstances, they found God’s good-pleasure
◦ their attitude has been described as “Triumphant waiting on God”
◦ so it is a tribute to Moses that
Moses was very meek, more than all people who were on face of the earth (Nu. 12:3)

We can certainly learn from the Hebrew Scriptures:
– that regardless of our circumstances, we must put our full trust in God

When we come to the New Testament, meekness takes on a different character

The Greek word suggests something more than a disposition
– it includes the effect a person has on others
• the meek person has a calming, soothing influence
◦ meek could be used in regard to taming animals
◦ the meek was a good-natured person
• meek was a “gentle friendliness” – the opposite of
◦ “roughness, bad temper, sudden anger, or brusqueness” (TDNT)
◦ it softened the edge of sound teaching and correcting others
The Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness [meekness] (2 Tim. 2:24-25)
– according to the Theological Dictionary of the New Testament,
• in Greek culture meekness was
“a mark of the high-minded and noble, of the cultured, and therefore of the wise, who remains calm even in the face of abuse; Socrates is a model here.”
• the only Gospel that uses this word is Matthew, where it appears three times:
Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth (Mt. 5:5)
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart (Mt. 11:29)
Say to the daughter of Zion,
“Behold, your king is coming to you,
humble, and mounted on a donkey . . .” (Mt. 21:5)
TDNT, “with the help of the fulfilled prophecy of Zech. 9:9, the entry of Jesus is depicted as that of a non-violent, non-warlike king of salvation and peace.”

You see, this is a different idea from the current definition of meekness

We think of it as a character quality that is empty – a lack of something
– having no will, no confidence, no fire
• we think meek is static rather than dynamic, idle rather than active
◦ to us, the meek person is almost a non-being, an “extra” on the set of life
◦ present, but easily ignored, overlooked
• the meek person stands down, stands aside, disappears
– for us, meekness doesn’t cut it – meekness looks cowardly
• human nature does not find gentleness compelling
• “gentle warnings” do not inspire compliance

In trying to address this wrong impression, preachers have told us,
– meekness is “power held in check” or “controlled strength”
• in other words, we know that compared to others,
◦ we’re stronger, wiser, better, but we hide it
◦ we act like we are less than what we are in truth
• I think those attempts to rehabilitate meekness miss the point
– meekness is a positive quality
• it isn’t a skill or act, but a character trait
• the meek person epitomizes a peaceful life
◦ they are unflappable, content, free-spirited,
◦ confident of God’s love and care

Our aggressive society sees meekness as a kind of cowardice

But if Jesus was meek, then he gives the word its true definition
– his story is one of strength, of bold claims, and obvious authority
• his enemies perceived him as a serious threat
◦ his followers perceived him as a provider and protector
• we never see him back down, hide in a corner, or run from danger
– Jesus was loving and kind, yes!
• but his love was strong and uncompromising
• Jesus’ life was rigorous and hard,
◦ but his touch was gentle

To be meek is no more or less than having Jesus for our example

Henri Nouwen tells a story about Trevor, a mentally challenged patient he cared for at Daybreak. During a time when Trevor was hospitalized for evaluation, Nouwen asked the hospital chaplain if he could visit him. The chaplain gave Nouwen permission and asked if it would be alright to host a lunch with him with invited guests–local ministers, priests, and hospital staff. Nouwen agreed, and when he entered the cafeteria, the first thing he did was look for Trevor. When he could not find him, the chaplain explained that the staff and patients never ate together and patients were never allowed inside the staff cafeteria. Nouwen said he would not stay for lunch unless Trevor could be there.

So it was that Trevor was sitting next to Nouwen as everyone settled into their places, engaging in small talk. Trevor asked Nouwen to bring him a coke, which he did and soon returned with Trevor’s coke and a glass of wine for himself.
Suddenly, Trevor was on his feet and with a loud voice announced, “Ladies and gentlemen . . . a toast!” Immediately there were anxious looks around the tables. I will let Nouwen tell you what happened next in his own words.

“But Trevor had no worries. He looked at everybody and said: ‘Lift up your glasses.’ Everyone obeyed. And then, as if it were the most obvious thing to do, he started to sing: ‘When you’re happy and you know it . . . lift your glass. When you’re happy and you know it . . . lift your glass. When you’re happy and you know it, when you’re happy and you know it, when you’re happy and you know it . . . lift your glass.’ As he sang, people’s faces relaxed and started to smile. Soon a few joined Trevor in his song, and not long after everyone was standing, singing loudly under Trevor’s direction.”
“Many people feel cursed—cursed by God with illnesses, handicaps, and misfortunes. They believe their cup doesn’t carry any blessings.”
“Trevor did what nobody else could have done. He transformed a group of strangers into a community of love by his simple, unself-conscious blessing. He, a meek man, became the living Christ among us. The cup of blessing is the cup the meek have to offer us.”

Conclusion: In spiritual formation, we learn about “the disciplines”

Specific rituals and behavior we practice regularly to promote our transformation
– the virtues are spiritual disciplines
Nouwen, “The are disciplines because we do not practice them spontaneously.”
• meekness does not come to us naturally
– practicing the virtues is all about us becoming different that we were
• the new self is a better person than the old self
◦ the actions of the old self are programmed and automatic
◦ even when we did not want to keep repeating the old patterns,
we stuck to the low path – trapped by our default settings
• but the new self is ready for this virtue list
◦ because Jesus shares with us his resurrection life
Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord, so walk in him, rooted and built up in him and established in the faith, just as you were taught, abounding in thanksgiving. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him, who is the head of all rule and authority. . . . having been buried with him in baptism, in which you were also raised with him through faith in the powerful working of God who raised him from the dead. (Col. 2:6-7, 9-10, 12)
We were buried therefore with him by baptism into death, in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glory of the Father, we too might walk in newness of life (Ro. 6:4)

The virtues are not a new set of rules;
they are standard features that come with these new models,
empowered by the Spirit of God

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Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility . . . Colossians 3:12

Intro: Working our way down this list of virtues we come to humility

When I began thinking about this talk,
– it occurred to me you don’t need this message – look where we are
• this is not the hot spot on Sunday mornings–
◦ the place to be seen – you can’t brag about being here

Yesterday, walking Kona, I spoke with a friend who lives out of the area, and I mentioned that I had to get home to prepare my talk. He said, “I thought you resigned from being a pastor. What’s the name of your church.” So I explained that I am no longer a pastor (at least I do not go by that title) and we do not call ourselves a church. I told him about our small “spiritual community” and this morning he sent me the following text: “This fits you much better than a mega-church.” He knows me well.

• a woman, fairly new to our community, in one of our Zoom meetings,
◦ referred to us as a church, then caught herself
◦ “Oh, that’s not right. I don’t know what to call it; our ‘Cult by the Sea’”
– But, even humble as you are, pride tends to raise its ugly head
• the ego gets wounded – we feel need to defend ourselves
◦ our beliefs, our choices, our political views
• no one is immune
◦ so it’s probably worth our while to discuss humility

If you think about it, humility is vital for “intimacy” (our previous series)

In fact, this is true of all the virtues
– Psalm 133 begins,
Behold how good and pleasant it is
when brothers dwell in unity!
• the first image it uses to describe unity is this:
It is like the precious oil on the head,
running down the beard,
on the beard of Aaron,
running down on the collar of his robes (Ps. 133:1-2)
• oil had many uses in biblical times: cosmetic (skin and hair), healing, and the sacred anointing
◦ but I have something else in mind other than “essential oils”
– we have to put oil into our car engines
• to keep all the moving parts running smoothly
◦ that’s because oil reduces friction
• oil change is necessary, because it collects sludge from the engine that could wear it down
– in every close relationship, humility works like (motor) oil
• it keeps interactions running smoothly, it reduces friction, and it carries away guck
• also, there are different oils for different types of machines
◦ sewing machine requires oil with less viscosity than car engines
◦ and likewise there are degrees of humility given the situation

We can see here how Paul’s metaphor breaks down

His put off and put off – like changing out of our old clothes into new clothes
– we would not say, “Put on humility,” as if we were putting on a T-shirt
• Paul isn’t saying it’s okay to be conceited or arrogant,
◦ as long as you act humble once in awhile
• it is only an act, if I’m doing something humble, while thinking, “I’m better than this”
For by the grace given to me I say to everyone among you not to think of himself [or herself] more highly than [they] ought to think, but think with sober judgment , each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned (Ro. 12:3)
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others (Php. 2:3-4)
– and while we’re here in Philippians, I might as well point out:
• every lesson we can learn re: humility, we learn from Jesus
Have this mind among yourselves, which is yours in Christ Jesus, who, though he was in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross (Php. 2:5-8)
Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly [humble] in heart, and you will find rest for your souls (Mt. 11:29)

I’m sure you could help me further develop this next point

What humility is not:
– “toxic shame”: to be ashamed of your “self” as opposed to feeling shame over an action
• I do this when I degrade myself with name-calling, “I’m stupid,” “a loser,” “hopeless”
• being obsessed with guilt, is not humility
– humiliation: when you feel you’ve been reduced to nothingness
• treated like a non-person
• in scripture, it is what an enemy will do to a person
◦ or it is a punishment God inflicts on the arrogant
◦ later on, self-humiliation became the excessive ascetic practice of some monks
Paul warns the Colossians away from this:
Let no one disqualify you, insisting on asceticism–i.e., an exaggerated humbleness
These have indeed an appearance of wisdom in promoting self-made religion and asceticism and severity to the body, but they are of no value in stopping the indulgence of the flesh (Col. 2:18 and 23)
– low self esteem or self-loathing
• if you hate yourself, you can’t think that means you’re humble
• it means you need to see a therapist
– worm theology: the belief that in comparison to God’s majesty, we have no more dignity than worms
• we are made in image and likeness of God
◦ that is not small, it is not nothing
◦ more than once, Jesus emphasized your worth to God
We have misunderstood the virtue of humility
– we either under value it or overdo it

There will never be a “humility contest,”
– no award given to the most humble person
• Paul does hint at a competition in his letter to the Romans
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor (Ro. 12:10)
– I know that I tend to take myself too seriously
• I also know I sometimes fail to take others seriously enough
• in the social structure of the kingdom of God,
◦ there is no one below me
. . . the disciples came to Jesus, saying “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?” And calling to him a child, he put him in the midst of them and said, “Truly, I say to you, unless you turn and become like children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven (Mt. 18:1-4)
◦ on another occasion
You know that those who are considered rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their great ones exercise authority over them. But it shall not be so among you. But whoever would be great among you must be your servant, and whoever would be first among you must be slave of all. For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many (Mk 10:42-45)

Now we can begin to think about what humility looks like

Olivier Clement, “Humility should be practical and realistic.”
– humility is made real through voluntary service
For you were called to freedom . . . . Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another (Gal. 5:13)
– humility is what makes it possible for us to apologize
– humility is what makes it possible for us to let go of an insult
Clement, “Humility makes forgiveness possible . . . .”
– humility is what pleases God
God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble (Jas. 4:6)
For thus says the One who is high and lifted up,
who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:
“I dwell in the high and holy place,
and also with him who is of a contrite and lowly spirit,
to revive the spirit of the lowly,
and to revive the heart of the contrite” (Isa. 57:15)
Thus says the LORD: “Heaven is my throne,
and the earth is my footstool;
what is the house that you would build for me . . .?
But this is the one to whom I will look:
he who is humble and contrite in spirit and trembles at my word (Isa. 66:1-2)
– I didn’t know what to make of Olivier Clement’s statement, “The mixture of sin and humility is worth more than the mixture of virtue and pride.”
• but then he quoted John Chrysostom (a fourth century preacher)
Chrysostom, “. . . remember the Pharisee and the [tax collector] . . . One relied on his own righteousness, on his own fasting and the tithes that he paid. The other needed to say only a few words to be free of all his sins.” (see Luke 18:9-14)
– humility is the necessary prerequisite for becoming a disciple
Arthur Deikman, Humility “is the attitude required for learning.” “Humility is the acceptance of the possibility that someone else can teach you something you do not already know, especially about yourself. Conversely, pride and arrogance close the doors of the mind.”

Conclusion: I don’t have much advice regarding how to become humble

One thing I can suggest is the consistent practice of confession
– pray the tax collector’s prayer, God, be merciful to me, a sinner!
You are not a worm – but neither are you an angel
You’re a human – so is everyone you know
We can confess our limitations and inadequacies – I can say:
“I don’t know about many things. I don’t know how to be humble”
If we do this, then Jesus will gladly teach us
Then we discover that by stepping down, we are carried up